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Last summer, after my last relationship ended, a friend encouraged me to revel in my newfound freedom by going to sex parties. Yup, those are what they sound like — parties for sex.

But for me, they were much more than that. They were places for me to meet sex-positive people, overcome shame, and get to know my sexuality.

Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve attended upwards of a dozen sex parties, which put me on an emotional journey that ultimately increased my confidence, openness, and willingness to take risks.

Here are a few lessons I’ve…

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Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? Yeah, that’s kind of a thing right now.

In a by the app Mentimeter and relationship therapist Vienna Pharaon, 36% of people in the U.S. and Europe said the spark between them and their partners has dwindled since quarantine, and 41% were having less sex.

Anyone else surprised those numbers aren’t higher?

The reason this is happening is fairly simple: “In survival mode, our nervous systems are wired for less social bonding and less emotionally vulnerable activities, which can include sex,” she explains. “Add to that…

Most of them have one thing in common: You probably won’t come

Many people think that taking recreational drugs will help them have better sex. One study in Health Education Research found that 28 percent of British weed smokers ages 16–22 had used the drug to enhance sexual pleasure, along with 63 percent of ecstasy users, 54 percent of cocaine users, 32 percent of amphetamine users, and 26 percent of LSD users. But how exactly do these drugs affect people’s sexual experiences, and what are their downsides?

Those questions can be difficult to answer. It’s hard enough to get sexuality research funded in the first place, let alone when it involves drugs…

Suzannah Weiss

Hi there! Find me at @suzannahweiss or

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