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Last summer, after my last relationship ended, a friend encouraged me to revel in my newfound freedom by going to sex parties. Yup, those are what they sound like — parties for sex.

But for me, they were much more than that. They were places for me to meet sex-positive people, overcome shame, and get to know my sexuality.

Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve attended upwards of a dozen sex parties, which put me on an emotional journey that ultimately increased my confidence, openness, and willingness to take risks.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way that have helped me progress in my sex life and my life overall. …

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Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? Yeah, that’s kind of a thing right now.

In a by the app Mentimeter and relationship therapist Vienna Pharaon, 36% of people in the U.S. and Europe said the spark between them and their partners has dwindled since quarantine, and 41% were having less sex.

Anyone else surprised those numbers aren’t higher?

The reason this is happening is fairly simple: “In survival mode, our nervous systems are wired for less social bonding and less emotionally vulnerable activities, which can include sex,” she explains. “Add to that the ramifications of being stuck inside during a shelter-in-place mandate, and healthy libidos may drop even more: less sunshine, People’s libidos drop when they’re under stress, says MFT and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST exercise, and social engagement are all factors which have the potential to lower sex drive.” …

Most of them have one thing in common: You probably won’t come

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Many people think that taking recreational drugs will help them have better sex. One study in Health Education Research found that 28 percent of British weed smokers ages 16–22 had used the drug to enhance sexual pleasure, along with 63 percent of ecstasy users, 54 percent of cocaine users, 32 percent of amphetamine users, and 26 percent of LSD users. But how exactly do these drugs affect people’s sexual experiences, and what are their downsides?

Those questions can be difficult to answer. It’s hard enough to get sexuality research funded in the first place, let alone when it involves drugs — and illegal drug use isn’t exactly something we all talk to our doctors about. …


Suzannah Weiss

Hi there! Find me at @suzannahweiss or

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